Perfectly Flawed ~ MindChatter
OUR Minds
"PERFECTLY FLAWED"
& Chaotic Chatter
OUR Minds
"PERFECTLY FLAWED"
& Chaotic Chatter
I just really need to let this shit out. Y'all know those people that constantly complain and are always negative? We all have a few at work, home, family or friends that truly test your very last nerve. They always want to complain about the same shit every fucking waking minute of every damn day. Yet, never do anything to change the situation. Why? Someone out there right now is reading this very post and may be very comparable to the type of person I am referring to. Can you please tell me why? I know we all have our moments, I personally had a 10 minute drama session today, however it is very rare. Maybe this is why I don't understand the reasoning behind it?!?! If it's not working or you are not happy FIX IT, CHANGE IT PUT THE ACTION BEHIND IT!!! Or shut the hell up!!!
Every action causes a reaction!!! Every reaction causes a consequence. The only person that can change whatever it is you are not satisfied with is YOU!!!! Did y'all hear me?? You are the driver of your own bus. You are in complete control. The rest of the world does not need you to get stuck on repeat, circling around your shit, making excuses or defending your reasoning. Journaling folks. Meditation. Self healing. Blogging. Talk to yourself. But DO NOT come at me with the same shit you have for the past 5 years wanting a solution you will never take or use!! My energy levels are non existent for repetitious behavior or personalities. I got my own shit, baggage, problems, split personalities and drama and I don't go around asking everyone for their opinions. I do not allow my own personal shit to affect others around me. Maybe I should now that I am thinking about it. If I were to burden those around me with everything I dislike over the past 42 years and ask them for a solution, maybe then I would have someone like me. Someone who attentively listens, a genuine, authentic and loving person who truly has compassion for human kind. B But y'all have used all the fucks I have left to give!!! Get some insurance if you do not have it, and if you do get a therapist like the rest of us CrAzY people. If not, I charge $150 an hour. Ugh....
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Good Morning!! Another sleepless and restless night for myself as I struggle with low back pain and apparently some form of restless leg syndrome. I am definitely not a licensed Dr of any form, but if I had to diagnose the intense pain and constant movements I have to force my extremities to do, I would say "Yes, its RLS". I feel like my legs were involved in a marathon without my consent. How dare they make a decision without my knowledge. It's like they went on a field trip exploring the Grand Canyon and hiking up every step incline. So, I am a little bit jealous of my legs. What in the shataki mushrooms has gotten into the bottom half of my, apparently independent, legs? Should I scold them for their behavior? They did not get permission to 1st off detach themselves from my torso and venture off and visit places my eyes have not seen. Secondly, this little trip they went on has left me in such misery I want to cut them off. Yes, I know what your thinking, "Is she seriously think her legs detached from her torso and went on a field trip"? Absolutely..............NOT! But the reality behind the story is simply, How do people live with this everyday? Its debilitating and exhausting. Especially when there is no relief in sight. It felt like this went on for hours. The only way it subsides is getting out of bed. Now what sense does that even make? None!! It doesnt make sense, because walking around enhances the already overused muscles. Anyone else know of or personally have RLS? What had worked for you in the past? I just got the news that another one of my co-workers passed unexpectedly Saturday, she was only 43 years old. That's only 1 year older than me, now. 3 years ago I lost a very dear and close friend / co-worker and she was only 43. Death is funny and scary at the same time. There is no rhyme or reason to the selection. We all come into this world the same way and leave the same way. The only difference is the HOW. I have never been one to deal with death, period. I do not do good byes and I do not do death. Never even really have used the word, until now. However, with this latest loss I find myself asking "WHY"? Why do people pass without warning, without saying bye and why is it some of the best people? I get old age is a factor, like my grandparents. Where do we go when it is our turn? The bible says Heaven or hell. Is it that simple though? Why do we hear of or experience ourselves other energies, entities or encounters if it is as simple as heaven or hell? I can say that death is permanent. Death is eventually going to take us all. These are the only proven facts I am aware of. I am so angry, sad, numb, pained and at the same time emotionless with her passing. I have only added it into a box and placed it, on my already full, shelf in my mind. Things to deal with at another time. One day that shelf is going to break and I am unsure of its consequences. We all need to hug our loved ones, embrace their presence, take more pictures, say "I love you" more often and less negative and petty crap. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Yesterday is gone and we cannot get it back. Forgive your past and those that may have left you angry. Holding onto a grudge only hurts you - The other person is clueless. Write that letter or email. Send a text. Plan a get together with loved ones or your friends. Stop focusing on the irrelevant petty personality traits. We all are only here in this reality but for a moment. What do you want to be remembered when your gone? People wait until they are on their death bed before the overwhelming regret comes rushing in. Wondering why, where their son or daughter is and wishing they would have lived differently. Don't let that be your legacy. Let your legacy be one you are living before that day comes. Do more each day for yourself and loved ones. Stop waiting for the weekend, Friday, vacation or whatever. Start living each day as if there is NO TOMORROW!! I regret so many things and events in my life at 42 years old. However, no longer wanting to carry the burden of my mistakes and hate towards those that have harmed me, I chose to make a change. I chose to stop settling for mediocre. I am now pushing the speed limit in moving forward. I no longer stay where I am not valued, I no longer surround myself with people who only take with no intention of giving back. I focus on me, my needs and wants. Which include those of importance to me. Even with that realization, the passing of my co-worker has me still analyzing life and adjusting my priorities. Remember: Yesterday is gone - We cannot change it, erase it, fix it or waste another day on it. Tomorrow is not promised. Today: you have 24 hours in it. How will you use them? |
Pssstt...I just want to personally thank you for finding me and my insanity! This is where I feel at home - the sounding board of my thoughts echoes. When the body is tired & the mind won't SHUT THE FUCK UP! Archives
September 2021
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